When was 10, I was huge into dinosaurs. I loved them. I even started my own archeology club (there were only two of us) and we talk about, study and even have pretend digging sites. We were just involved in dinosaurs.

In 1988 there was a new cartoon show that just fascinated me. It was a show called “Dino-Riders”. It was about a group of super humans that were fighting with this group of humanoid creatures. They somehow ended up going back in time to when the dinosaurs ruled the Earth. Both groups of people had these devices that they wore that allowed them to communicate with the dinosaurs. They were able to communicate with just their thoughts and that me “I want a dinosaur AND I want one of those things that can talk to dinosaurs!” I was 10 years old.

I am now 33 and I still wish to this day I had one of those devices. If I had one, communication with my dog would be simple. My wife and I would be able to talk with our dog by using our thoughts and he would understand us. Just imagine how amazing that would be?! I would only have to think my thoughts and Hurley would understand us! Brilliant!

But, those devices don’t exist. They are made up. We will have to keep working on communicating with signals and primative sounds.

I think I wish I had one of those devices so that I could talk to Hurley. I sit with him on the couch and wonder what’s going through his head. What is he staring at? But most of the time I am just thankful for him. He’s brought something to our family. He adds extra joy with his wagging tail and “pay attention to me” barks. He is an amazing dog that brightens my day. I am so glad my wife talked me into getting a dog.

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Anyone who knows me from The Twitter and real life knows that I love the show “The Wire”. Now this show has been off the air for five years and I didn’t actually find out about it until 2010 but that doesn’t change the fact that I will go to my grave shouting “The Wire is the best show EVER!” Or if you have seen the show you will hear me every once in awhile respond to something said with just one phrase: YERP!

Why do I love “The Wire” so much? Well, it’s different from other dramas I have watched on TV. It is raw, real and doesn’t hold anything back. I love dramas but I find that most dramas on the major networks ABC, NBC, Fox and CBS lack something. What is it that they lack? They are stations that are available to everyone. You can’t swear (that much, times are changing) and give a show that “realness” that is displayed in HBO’s “The Wire”. That is what takes “The Wire” to the next level of TV programming. Also, with major network dramas there is usually a plot point that is given to the viewer and is resolved at the end of the episode. “The Wire” does this somewhat but also has major story arches that last one whole season (sometimes two seasons) and then spill over into the next season. This is what kept me so involved with the show.

Now, this blog is not about how I LOVE THE SHOW and will tell anyone I meet that it is the “BEST SHOW EVER”. No, this blog is about how the show taught me real life techniques on how to tail and stakeout people. It showed me how detectives work and some of the methods they use and how I used them one time in my life and it worked!

** Names have been omitted to protect the innocent. However, “psycho girl” is not named mainly cause she is psycho and I don’t want her finding out where I live and egging my house **

I have a friend. This friend had a girlfriend. I say “had” cause she turned out to be psycho. They dated and then she borrowed some money. Agreements were made about paying it back. Then said friend and “psycho girl” broke up and she didn’t repay the money. She also ended up having her car repossessed, was fired from her current job and then ended up falling off the face of the Earth. I was at lunch one day and saw psycho girl waling into the “Big Bank” branch in the town I worked. I saw my friend later that weekend and told him how I had seen her and where I saw her. He told me about the whole story and how she had disappeared and he was trying to serve her with papers to take her to court. He also said he knew she was working at said “Big Bank” but didn’t know which branch she worked at. I told him that I would take care of this and that I would do some investigating.

Day 1 – Banks close at 5:30 which gave me the advantage. I drove to the bank and parked in a public lot across the street. I walked by the front of the bank and pretended to use the ATM which gave me a good view of all the tellers. I spotted her. Counting her drawer and getting ready to end the day. So I headed back to my car to see where she went after and what car she was driving. Since she had car repossessed, my friend didn’t know what kind of car she was driving. I was backed into a parking spot and was able to view the entire parking lot through my rear view window. She excited the building and got into a bright red Kia. It was one of those cars that the hamsters drive while “riding dirty” and listening to awful pop-rap music. Ugh. We now hand an idea of what car she was driving. She drove off and I drove off in a different direction and headed home.

Day 2 & 3 – Over the next week, I drove by the branch of “Big Bank” to see if her car was there and it was. I got off work at 5:00 on the third day and headed to the bank. The red Kia was still in the parking lot. Jackpot! I parked in the local public parking and waited. I spent my time waiting eating sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds are very good in situations where you are just sitting and waiting for something to happen. They help keep your mind occupied until that moment you need to focus on the task at hand. I was texting back and forth with my friend the minute by minute updates. See, she knows what kind of car he drives and that would give him away. But she didn’t know the make and model of my car and would not be expecting me to be tailing her. At 6:00 p.m. she exited the bank. I started up my car to get ready for the hunt. I felt like a total badass. I pulled out of the parking lot and began to follow. This was the tough part. I didn’t wanna follow too close and spook her and I didn’t want to follow to far behind and lose her. It was a fine tuned game of “cat and mouse”. I hit the pause/play button on my stereo and began jamming to some music while keeping my distance. I was able to get her license plate to have as a backup in case I lost her. Keeping the right distance and trying to not to speed was tough considering she has a lead foot.

I followed her all the way from the town we worked in to her driveway. SUCCESS! I now had place of work, established residency (needed to make sure still) and a license plate that would give us more info. I will tell you this, having someone you know working for law enforcement is a blessing. When you tell them that you are doing something to help out a friend they try to do everything in their powers to help. Well, I gave that license plate number to my friend and they ran the plate for me. It was a match to the address that I had followed her to.

I ended up giving all this info to my friend and he was blown away. He as able to call his attorney and have the papers filed and they were able to be delivered. I think the case is still pending but it makes me feel good to know that I helped a friend out.

Now, some of you might think that what I did was a bit “creepy”. Well, screw you. If you had let someone borrow a shit-ton of money and then they disappeared you would want help with getting it back. I did something to help my friend. I knew I wasn’t a real “P.I.” but I wanted to test my new skills in a real life situation and I kicked ass at it! “The Wire” is an amazing show that takes you to the streets of Baltimore and shows you what real life is like there. Well, I used the same skills on the streets of Southern Oregon and helped with a case. It felt good to know that I had done something that made a difference.

You can call me Detective iHubby.

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